Avoiding the Holiday Blues

By Linda Tamm, Psy.D.

The holidays seem to start before the last Halloween pumpkin’s grin has faded.  This means  that more people are feeling the holiday blues. Who can keep up such anticipation, joy and enthusiasm for that long?  Here are some tips for keeping the flames of Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa, Diwali, and the Winter Solstice bright!

1) Take an inventory of what you actually enjoy about the season. (Not what you expect to feel you or think you should like). Try to increase time doing these types of things, even if they do not happen on the holiday itself.  It might be lunch with a friend after shopping, baking pies, finding some time for prayer, listening to live holiday music, or helping a neighbor string some lights.

2) Add something new to the holiday. Our brains enjoy novelty, so celebrate the holiday at a new town or home, shop at a different mall, invite someone new to the table, or even explore the traditions of another family or culture and see if it sparks creativity in you.

3) Adjust your expectations.  Be honest about the feeling or experience you are secretly hoping will be created. Is it the magic of childhood that you once had or even never had?  Is it finally making someone in your family happy?  Or maybe it is keeping the ever growing family together?  Is it someone recognizing you with a gift that is unique to you? Think about what is likely to happen.  What other experiences could also bring you happiness if your vision for this holiday season does not turn out quite right?  What are the basics that would make the days satisfying?

4) Don’t make the possibilities endless.  We all love the freedom of choice, but too many choices actually frustrate us. Narrow down your holiday choices to 2 or 3 items at a time. This works whether it involves gifts, food, cards, or invitations.

5) Communicate.  Talk to your friends and family early about their thoughts for the holidays.  They might have some expectations that can be addressed before it’s too late. They may also want to shake up the usual holiday routine in a way that works for you too. You might discover that people are willing to simplify plans or to take on a new task that you are feeling burdened by.  Such a request might actually help them to feel more important, recognized and valued.

6) Take time to remember loss.  Instead of letting the memories of loss sneak up on you, have a way to recognize who and what you miss.  Let this be an opportunity to give yourself the gift of letting go to the past, so that you can start the new year fresh.

If you try these tips and still find that getting up in the morning is very hard; that you are avoiding people and activities you used to enjoy; that your concentration has changed dramatically; or that you are tearful/irritable without a clear cause, then you might have slipped right past the blues and into depression.  If that is true, please contact us and we would be happy to help you further.